Chuck Norris is the replacement Ed Hochuli.
Ed Hochuli has the power to accept or decline Chuck Norris Facts.
Ed Hochuli is not claustrophobic. The review window is Ed Hochuli-phobic.
Ed Hochuli's microphone actually makes his voice quieter.
Ed Hochuli wears 100-pound boots to slow him down so he can keep up with the action.
Ed Hochuli never flips a coin. He just holds the coin and flips the stadium around it.
Ed Hochuli can do a full 30-minute workout during a TV timeout.
Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone so he could join Ed Hochuli's weekly conference call.
Ed Hochuli's games never get canceled for weather, because Ed Hochuli cancels the weather.
Ed Hochuli was not locked out. The league was locked in.
